Working and Homeschooling. Finding Balance.

It's that time again. Everyone is getting ready for school, buying new books, scheduling field trips, and planning co-op classes. For homeschooling parents who also work this can be an especially daunting time. Whether you are working for financial reasons or personal reasons, you are always asking yourself the question "Am I doing what's best for my children by keeping them at home?"

All homeschooling parents have to have balance. That's a no-brainer. But for the working-homeschooling parent, balance is essential for survival. When we have time for school, it is a scheduled time--just like work is. And balancing these two schedules, which are naturally at odds with each other, takes constant care and attention. Am I eating into my child's school time by working on the computer too long? Am I slacking off on meals and other family time that help my children know THEY are the ones that matter? 

I have found that getting my kids on board is a huge help. They know I would rather be home with them, so we all work together to make my time at work less demanding and my time at home more fruitful. I try to teach them to see that their participation in chores, activity planning, and sticking to their studies while I am away is for the common good of the family. And I think it's working! The dishes are done every day without my having to ask. The trash is taken out when it's full. And, with some reminders, the sweeping gets done. Everyone works together to fold clothes and help our youngest with her chores. Is it perfect? No. But, we're in this together and it's important for me to know when I walk out the door that we're all on the same page and caring for each other.

Perhaps the most important key to working while homeschooling is having a support network. I do not know what I would do without the wonderful person who enriches my young ones' lives while I'm away. (You know who you are!) And there are a handful of amazing people who will take my kids to events while I'm working. I know if my kids are in need, there are reliable friends they can call in a pinch. I couldn't do this without them.

So here's to a new school year for all homeschoolers, and here's an extra hurrah for the working moms and all the people who help them. You're doing a great job!

Kate Kirkpatrick

Summer

Days are longer, hotter, and more humid. Summer has arrived here in North Carolina. Homeschooling affords us the opportunity to make our own schedule: some of us "school" all year long, others take time off and keep a public school calendar, and still others do something completely different.

I tend to do a mixed bag. We take off some time here and there but not a long stretch at any one time. I prefer to take off the month between Thanksgiving and Christmas. It seems to work the best for me. Also, we take time off during early spring to plant our garden. Of course, I believe that teaching my child to garden, cook, can and pickle is all part of the learning process so we really never stop learning.

Not being a fan of the heat, I would rather spend summer doing our core subjects. Then when the weather is nicer, we have time to be out and about; that is just one of the many joys of homeschooling.

Summer can be a great opportunity to spend some time to focus on a tough subject or crack a hard problem. For us it’s also time to lay out next year's plan. As we advance through High School I find that laying out a plan is harder and harder each year. I have happily listened to those who have gone before me and soaked up the information they have shared.

So, enjoy your summer no matter how you spend it. All too soon the leaves will start to change and it will be time again to find the jackets and sweaters.

Posted by

Heather Garcia.

Community

Wake Forest Homeschoolers is more than a Facebook group, a website or a Co-op. It is a community.  Twice a year we come together to put on our co-op.  We all pitch in, we teach or assist, we help with the cleaning or even child wrangling.  It takes all of us working together to make it happen.   

Kristie, our fearless leader, spends months getting ready, more so this time because of the new location. She puts thought into where the classes are located, makes sure we have co-teachers and that there are enough people to leave the place cleaner than we found it.

Teachers are busy putting together classes. I know I am working on mine.  At events I am hearing the buzz of excitement that co-op is right around the corner.  In the end it takes each of us doing our part to make this a success.

I am seeing more and more events pop up on the calendar.  People who have not hosted before stepping up to help.  It is so exciting to see everyone making this group amazing.

We have board elections coming up so if you have a desire to step up please let a board member know.  We will be happy to assist in any way we can.  Someone can tell you the different positions and what they entail. We will be discussing these roles at our next open board meeting.

Thanks again for making this group more than a bunch of people.  For making it a community!

Posted by

Heather Garcia

It's That Time Again!

It’s that time again. Biannually we ask for help with co-op.  To make it a success we all need to pitch in.  There are classes to teach, baby room to assist in, and clean up to do.  To keep our fees low we all need to pitch in and help.  Kristie, our Co-Op Coordinator, will have her hands full with a new location, so the more we can do to help her, the bigger our success.  

I know it is daunting, the thought of teaching a class, but really it’s not as scary as you think.  Come up with an idea or ask around.  I know we need classes for the younger age groups right now, so feel free to step up.  Every class has an assistant so you are not alone and there are some moms with some great ideas.   

I am always amazed with the wonderful class selection, as well as the hard working families that help with all aspects of this event.  Set up, break down, clean up and teaching.  There is a lot of work to go around and plenty of members to share in the tasks.  

I myself will be teaching a life skills class for the older kids, sort of a fun take on manners and etiquette. This is something that was requested by my last class of kids so I am looking forward to seeing how it goes.  I have also taught a class in how to get a job and money management.

It is hard for me to believe that this will be my third co-op teaching and the 4th one I have attended. Seeing it grow and watching the new families add their own touch is an exciting adventure to me.  With Kristie’s organizational skills and everyone pitching in we can make this the best co-op yet.

Have questions, need help?  Send a message to Kristie.

Thanks in advance for all your hard work

Posted by Heather Garcia

Be an Ambassador

 

Even with the growing homeschool community, there are still some very negative connotations that go along with our choice to homeschool our kids.  We hear: “unsocialized”, “uneducated” and “unambitious”. We’ve heard we are “lazy parents” or we are “super religious” and  we certainly  “are not teaching real science”. Or combinations of all of these statements- I am sure we have heard them all.  Even the assumptions of helicopter parenting or being that “Tiger Mom”.

Now, I am sure there is a little of this going on among the homeschoolers, but most of us are just normal people who have made what we think is the best decision for our kids.  A lot of times, we have had to homeschool our children despite an unsupportive spouse or family, or even community ridicule.

I’d like to think I am an ambassador of sorts. I don’t mind most questions; well, maybe not “what do you do all day?” But as a general rule, I say, ask away! I am an open book or as open as I can be, anyway.  I have had the whole range of questions asked of me, and mostly I just answer as honestly as I can. Sometimes I ask the same question in reverse to a parent of a public school child. Maybe this can be seen as not being very nice, but one can only answer “are you doing your child a disservice?” so often before you lose it.

Today, I was in a group that has nothing to do with homeschooling and a conversation started. I dispelled a few myths and gave some good information. Information, this wonderful woman said, she has never heard before from other homeschoolers. I don’t hide what I am nor do I shy away from what I do.  Also, I share information I have, willingly and freely. Not only did I make a new friend, but helped someone who felt lost and put them at ease.

We are blessed in our group to have some wonderful ambassadors- not only on the Board but in the membership. I have seen members giving information and sharing experiences. They help new homeschoolers and even the frustrated old timers.  The community is what matters. What we are building here matters.  

Posted by

Heather Garcia

Family Togetherness

 

Here in NC we saw ice fall from the sky and then a nice layer of snow fell too just to make it interesting.  That means the state closed up shop.  Time to embark in some fun family times: board games, fireside chats (because the power was out) and dinner at the table by candle light.  There has been a lot of time to spend together.  

Now for some this is a blessing, for others, not so much. For me, it’s not so bad.  We generally are stuck home when there is a weather event due to my location in the “sticks”.  Homeschooling goes on, housework happens and we all go about our day.  Though, even with my extreme homebodiness, there comes that moment when you just can’t stay inside anymore.  

I watched the news, kept an eye on the weather and decided I would try to enjoy this storm and wait it out.  But, by Saturday when my husband suggested we brave the outdoors, I was dressed and ready before he got up! I guess I do have my limits of being at home!  So we went to the store to pick up a few things- mostly to get out of the house.  

My driveway road had trees downed by ice which made the drive out a bit of an adventure. The main roads were clear so getting to the store not so bad. It started to snow again; just lightly enough to send us home.  On the way back to the house, we decided to go ahead and cut down trees to make the road easier to traverse.  It was a good outing.

All in all we survived the storm and managed to not be overcome by cabin fever. And, the good news is that it looks like we are going to warm up this week! That will make all the crystal trees coated with ice disappear, and the snow will melt, but so will the ice.

Back to your regularly scheduled homeschool activites.

Posted By

Heather Garcia

Finding Friends

Definition of friend according to Merriam-Webster:

friend, n.

• a person who you like and enjoy being with
• a person who helps or supports someone or something (such as a cause or charity)

Being a stay at home, and a homeschooling mom, has made friendships both easier and more challenging.  What do you do if you really like someone but your kids do not mesh, or what happens if the problem is just the opposite? I have been blessed with an amazing group of friends, and a fantastic peer group. That said, there are times when I feel like a fish out of water. I have friends with kids in school who work and I find it hard to spend time with, or even common topics, but we still care about each other.  We support each other to the best of our abilities.  

Still, in any group (kids or adults) you will have differences of personality or opinion. So what do you do? Here is what I do: I try to be polite to everyone. I am acutely aware that some people do not like me.  I feel it, and have even had to hear it.  Mostly I try to smile and do my thing.  If you like me, great!  If not, we are grown people and we can be nice to each other, especially if our kids are playmates.  Yet, it is much harder than it sounds. Having a party with “all” my friends, means a diverse crowd.  People from all walks of life-both ends of the political and financial spectrum-with so many varied backgrounds. We make the term “melting pot” look boring.  I see it more like a stew.  Not everyone likes lima beans, or peas, but mostly we can all agree on a rich broth.

There are people I consider friends who I know don’t reciprocate and I have chosen to be okay with that.  With some people I interact, I am cordial to, but we are not friends.  Sometimes, the differences can be chalked up to just life; other times, it’s not enough shared common ground, still I am friendly.  The diversity in any given group, and especially a secular homeschool group, often has the unfortunate problem of having someone who does not like someone else, or there is an issue and a divide where people pick sides. To me it seems like we are all grown up enough to find a way to get through any issues- to be polite and to move on.  

That said, I have been in a circumstance where I have had to leave a group because of a personality clash, where I was not part of the “clique”. As a result I am acutely aware of feeling like an outsider. One that does not “belong”.  To this end, I try to reach out and embrace anyone new in our circles.  Even if we do not end up being the best of friends, it is my hope that we can be friendly, and that they felt welcomed by someone.  We are all human and all deserve respect and common courtesy.

Posted By

Heather Garcia

Welcome 2016

As we wrap up all our holiday celebrations and get back on our regular schedules, now is a good time to take a moment and evaluate how things are going with your homeschool plan. Let’s ask: What is working? What is not?  How is it being received by your child(ren)? Are there things that need to be changed up or dumped all together?

I know I personally need to make some changes. However, deciding what to change has been a quandary.

Our family was overcommitted in the Fall and it was a drain on all of us. So, I decided that I am going to watch my commitments. We spent a lot of time out of the house and it made for a cranky household. My family is made up of homebodies and I try to make sure we get out once in awhile, but perhaps I have overdone it a bit?  HA! I overdid it in fantastic fashion (as I do everything).

Now, other than being home more, what can I change? Spending more time outside.That is a big one. We need sunshine and fresh air to survive- just like plants.  Being cooped up in a building, be it home or co-op, is not a good thing.  Of course, the season will help with that.  We are out a lot in the Spring due to our huge garden and the family task of caring for it.

Another change we will be implementing is that a more positive attitude will be expected from everyone in our house. Misery indeed loves company and, while we can’t avoid all unpleasantness and unhappy situations, keeping a positive outlook will help all of us enjoy our lives more. This mandate, of course, is not a resolution; it is a realization that we were heading down a path that was gloomy and in need of a course correction.

In the end, these small changes will make our home a happier and more productive place.  Maybe, even a more welcoming place for friends and family.

Posted by

Heather Garcia

I'll Have A Cup Of Quiet, Please

Have you ever just sat in a quiet dark room and sipped a cup of coffee? No kids, no TV, not even your phone on? Have you taken the time to just sit and be?  It’s harder than you think.  We are programed to go go go.  So taking the time to just sit and be still and quiet is hard, but very necessary. I think it is one of the most necessary things that is overlooked in our crazy busy world.

In this quiet time, we can let our minds wander at their leisure. The first step is the quiet.  I often have this time in the morning after my first cup of coffee.  Just me and the cats, alone and I am awake anyway.  I sit in my comfy chair and let my mind go.  No input from my phone or tablet, no computer screen or TV, it’s just me and my thoughts.  In our crazy world we just don’t do this any more.  It may be the most important thing in my day.

Silence is the universal refuge, the sequel to all dull discourses and all foolish acts, a balm to our every chagrin, as welcome after satiety as after disappointment.

~Henry David Thoreau

Can you remember the last time you just sat and were in the quiet? We have come to crave constant input. How many times a day do you check your phone, or log on to facebook? I am almost always connected.  The time I spend in the morning disconnected and quiet has become a respite for my brain and my soul.

Dawn is breaking and another crazy day is on tap and I have recharged my batteries with my few minutes of silence. However, I think I may have one more cup of coffee.

 

Posted by,

Heather Garcia

The Holiday Meal

Christmas is coming.  I feel like I am at the start of the hunger games.  Line up and go.  People pushing and shoving and rushing all around.  Why do we do this to ourselves.  Why do we get caught up in the race to make this one bigger or better than the last.

The holidays have lost a little luster for me now that my kids are older.  Now with only one at home, who is 14, everything seems to be a trial. I go on.  Getting the house decorated, and the tree up and making sure I plan dinner for the family.

Really this holiday for me is all about my family time.   I enjoy cooking and planning for our dinner.   I could do without the shopping and running around.  I enjoy a well done ham, some mash potatoes, and gravy.  I usually make a cheesecake for dessert.

So as I plan my menu I wonder what other people have on their holiday table.  

Leaf Bread (Laufabrauð)

Made of a thin, waferlike dough, this crisp flatbread is a holiday tradition in Iceland. Many families make it together a few days before Christmas; some Icelanders joke that it's the only time of year the men will help in the kitchen. It's first cut into intricate geometric patterns, then deep-fried and saved to be eaten as an accompaniment to Christmas dinner. Traditionally, a special tool called a leaf bread iron is used to cut the patterns, but we found a paring knife works just as well.

Sauerbraten (German Pot Roast)

The addition of sugar to the einbrenne (roux) gilds the gravy even as its sweetness balances the sour lemon note and the zing of pickling spices.

Buche de Noel (Yule Log Cake with Coffee Buttercream and Ganache)

This version of the traditional French Christmas cake is filled with coffee buttercream and covered in chocolate ganache.

Doro Wat

In Ethiopia, no holiday meal is complete without Doro Wat, a long-stewed dish of chicken flavored with chile, garlic, berbere, cardamom, and ginger, served with boiled eggs.

Tourtiere (Quebecois Meat Pie)

Apple cider and warming spices make this Canadian rustic meat pie a perfect holiday dish.

Here are just a few things I found while researching.  While I am not doing it this year.  In years past I have made tamales and stuffed cabbage a real mix of our families heritage.  This might be fun to do with the kids to research and add a food to your menu from another country.  

Whatever you do remember to take time to enjoy this season.

Posted by

Heather Garcia

Traditions Change

Like most families we have traditions during this holiday season. My husband and I have been married for almost 17 years. When we started out we made a lot of our own traditions. One thing we have done is get a real tree every year. Some years were smaller some bigger, but each year we all pile in the car and pick out a tree. My husband puts up the lights and I hand the decorations to the kids and they decorate the tree. This worked well for many years. I have never been one to be overly fussy about how it looks. Our decorations are a hodge podge of stuff I have collected over the years. Some of them are handmade gifts some I have made myself. In the end it is always festive. Now with only one 14 year old boy at home, tree decorating is just not as fun for me. My husband does the lights and we all jump in and help get the decorations done, however the fun is not there anymore. 

I committed a sin. I asked for a fake tree. My husband always had a fake tree growing up and it has been a big deal to him that we have a real one. Now with almost no help I am left to take the whole thing down myself. The boys in my life said they would help and so we will get a real tree this year. Honestly if they have strong opinions about it then so be it. However I do think if I am lugging a real tree down stairs and cleaning it up by myself next year we will have a new tradition.

I guess as kids get older and leave home things change. This is the first year it has hit me that I only have one left. So with a sniffle and a tear I have to hope that this is the final time for the real tree, and next year I can put up a pre lit seven footer in 10 minutes. Maybe then I will get my joy back for decorating it.

That said I know the first year I have the fake tree I will be sad, and miss all the family memories when we decorated the tree as a family. 

Christmas 2003


Posted By
Heather Garcia



   

Holiday Blues

Here we are again less than a month until Christmas.  A time when people should be full of joy and giving.  All I see is kids who are asking for more than parents can give and a big deal about spending money.  

So many times I see parents going into debt to buy that one gift a child wants.  It seems to me that we have changed the meaning of the season from one of joy and giving to one of commercialism and greed. I did this, even though in the past I have tried to teach my kids that it is a time of loving and giving. Perhaps we should have made something instead. 

 

 

Even I have fallen prey to this feeling of needing consumerism to show that I care.  When my girls were little we used to go to the mall and pick a child in need and get a gift for them.  Something fun and educational because that’s who I am.

In years past I have made gifts to give out and been excited to see them opened. I am not sure when I lost that joy.  Now I fret over choosing a gift, spending money I don’t need to spend, to make the right impression.  I know I am not alone.  

I say bring back the feeling of the season. Bring back the joy and love.  Bring back the spirit of giving.  Bring back a time when just spending time with people was a gift in itself.  We are so busy we forget that giving our time and energy to another can be a gift.

Time to shake off the holiday blues, so give your time freely, love freely and remember that in the end a bigger better gift is no replacement for true joy.

Posted by

Heather Garcia

Change It Up

After homeschooling for years I have noticed a pattern.  Right as we hit the “holidays” things get busy and our schedule seems to get off track. Both my son and I start to deal with some boredom. I start to conserve time by trimming off this or that, but a couple of years ago I had an idea.  What if I changed it up?  

One of the many joys of homeschooling is it can vary from family to family even child to child.  What works today may not work tomorrow and that is ok.  It took a long time for me to get there and to find out how to work with it instead of against it.

So we do a lot of learning on the go.  We do a lot of “off hours” learning.  We take advantage of life to help us learn.  Best of all it’s a joint project.  I think I learn as much during these times as he does.

I did a little research to see how other moms break the cycle and change up homeschooling.

1. Do a topical study.  Use a holiday to study the history, or the change in seasons to discuss the weather.
2. Read together.  No matter the age taking time to read together can bring you closer and help a struggling or unenthusiastic reader.
3. Do a service project.  Find a senior center and read to seniors or just adopt a grandparent. Help at a soup kitchen, or even make lunches for the homeless.  

This is just a taste of what I found that others are doing to change it up, but even things such as a change of scenery can revive and recharge you for the rest of the year.

Posted by

Heather Garcia

Tech Addiction

It’s funny. I have a husband who spends all day sitting at the computer and almost no time on the computer that is not work or personal project related, where as I am a self-professed social network addict.  I am working on this flaw. I have seen it in my kids and I am not a fan.  How can I ask them to stop if I am on Facebook 24/7?  So I need to learn to turn it off. The world will not end if I miss a text message, email or status update.  

Park play dates have turned into mom’s checking phones, teens checking phones and kids running around. We have checked out of personal contact and into a safe world of make believe.  

We crave that hit of dopamine we get when we check our phones.  We need to be connected to everyone on our friends list.  When did this happen?  Why did this happen?  Social skills are an afterthought.  No one writes personal notes anymore.  

We have a tech free dinner table.  This is a must.  We come together and sit down to eat and talk about our day.  No room there for Facebook or Twitter.  No room for Snapchat or text messages.  I think we need to do this more.  My husband has been saying this and I have been fighting the wave.  

I am not afraid to admit my guilt, but I am ashamed that I have let myself get this way.  Now it’s time to take a hard look and figure out how to get out of the hole I have dug myself into.  So I issue a challenge.  Put your phone down and talk to the people in your life.  Your friends, your family, the stranger next to you in line.  Look your cashier in the eye when she says hello and respond.  It will enrich your life.  

Posted by

Heather Garcia

Fall Co-op Wrap Up

 

Another successful co-op is in the books.  We would like to extend a huge thank you to the teachers, assistants and clean-up crews that made this all possible.  Also a thanks to Kristie for making this run so smoothly.  We are always looking to improve on our success, and as such the ideas from the board are already flowing.  If you have any ideas feel free to comment here or send a message to the board.  

With such a diverse group I am always happy to hear from teachers and parents how much they enjoyed co-op but I have to tell you there is a special place in my heart when the kids say “thank you” on the last day of class.  

I loved seeing all the creative costumes for our trunk r treat. It seems like everyone had a great time and the pictures are all fantastic. It was great seeing a mix of allergy safe and traditional treats given out.

Each session the classes get more and more creative and interesting.  So make sure you are thinking about what to teach in the spring.  I know it seems far away but I think that it will be here before we know it.  

We are currently looking for a new location for our spring co-op, hopefully in Wake Forest.  If you know of anywhere we might look into please feel free to let us know in the comments or send a message.   

Again thank you for a fantastic fall co-op.  Let’s see how we can top this one for spring.  

Posted by

Heather Garcia

Entertainment Vs. News

We live in a time where we have a 24 hour news cycle.  We are constantly bombarded with information.  News has become a loose term meaning anything that will get ratings, clicks or views.  I worry that the upcoming generation will not be able to tell news from entertainment. In a world where I have to tell my son to fact check everything he sees, I wonder how to teach him what true news is.  

I have taught my kids, all three of them, to question everything.  Told them to read both sides of a story and that the truth is somewhere in the middle.  In a political climate where it seems the fringes are yelling the loudest, I have to wonder if the up and coming generation will even be able to tell what is real and what is a fabrication.

Fox news, MSNBC, CNN, The Blaze, they all have an agenda.  It is almost impossible for someone to be completely objective.  It’s the language used or the tone, even the images and lighting will change how we see a story.  News is like a big game of telephone.  I can see something live on one station and look at three others and see something different  - but it’s all the same event.

In a world of sound bites and 140 character tweets, how do we as parents teach our kids to find out what really happened?  Even being homeschoolers, our kids have inherited our biases. We all view the world through our own experience.  We have people watching comedy news shows and getting tweets for news.  Facebook news feeds give us an overview and we don’t bother to read the whole story before we share it and make our decisions.

I think that the only way to combat this is a continuing open dialogue with your kids about what is going on in the world.  Teaching them to see both sides of a story.   With our current political cycle let them read all the candidates views not just the ones you agree with. Teach them to do the hard work of researching a topic to find out all sides of any issue. Teach them to be informed in conversation, not to regurgitate sound bites. Teach them the importance of facts over feeling in the events happening in our world.  This brand of critical thinking has become a lost art and I fear for the future if it is not taught to our kids.  

Posted by

Heather Garcia

Set Phases on Run

That we love our children no matter what goes without saying. That said there are times when we don’t like them, or more precisely the phase they are in. The times when they were/are babies and they don’t sleep because they are colicky, or the terrible twos, the four going on forty phase. I remember the “I don’t need a nap” phase. That one was very hard on this frazzled mom. When my teen daughter went through her goth/emo phase, I was pretty sure that the tri-state area would run out of black eyeliner and hair dye.

Any parent with more than one kid knows each one is different and goes through stuff in their own way. My special needs daughter was obsessed with Adam Lambert to the point that we avoid the name and music at all costs. Even more trying was the Harry Potter phase where all she would do is read, we had to fight to get her to eat, or do any school work at all.  

My son’s lack of desire to read was another trying phase. Mostly I think because I wanted him to read more. Now he reads but still on his terms.

The big thing to remember is that no matter what phase your family is going through at the moment, this too shall pass. Even if it seems that you will never again go to the bathroom alone, or have a quiet bath.  Remember that eventually they will grow out of that movie you don’t ever want to see again, and they will probably not even remember being so wrapped up in whatever the phase is.  

So take heart moms.  The eyerolls, the sighs, and the defiance are phases that will pass and there will be the next parental hurdle to get over. In the end that is why we have things like Wake Forest Homeschoolers, so we can talk to other parents who have gone before and survived to share their tale.

A Path Less Structured

“Unschooling is an educational method and philosophy that advocates learner-chosen activities as a primary means for learning. Unschooling students learn through their natural life experiences including play, household responsibilities, personal interests and curiosity, internships and work experience, travel, books, elective classes, family, mentors, and social interaction.”

When I started my journey into homeschooling I would never have thought that Unschooling would be a path for me.  I am a structure kinda gal.  I have color coded notebooks and learned math on graph paper to keep the lines straight.  We started with a curriculum that basicly told me what to do every second of the day. At first I got right down to it and my son was less than receptive.  Then I started to make “modifications” to what they were doing.

The last year we did this we struggled and were losing our love of learning… Both of us.  So I made the decision to totally change how we functioned.  I had met some unschoolers and I was unsure of how I could make this work for us, I like structure and my son needs some.  The great thing is I met some wonderful people who taught me that just because I am Unschooling does not mean I am unparenting. This helped me a lot and I learned to make my way slowly to a less structured education for my son.

I am not an unschooler but I am working that direction.  I still have some things that we can’t seem to let go of, but I am learning that doing worksheets and taking tests is not the way my son learns.  I have let go of the “schooling at home” mentality for the most part, and embraced that we learn things everyday all day in many ways.  

Seeing my son’s joy in learning return has been a blessing.  He is a smart kid (if I do say so myself) and I much prefer the return of the curious kid who enjoys learning.  To this end, we have incorporated group learning such as co-ops and group classes.  Living history is a gift from the gods.  Family discussions over dinner yield many hours of education and family bonding that we would never see otherwise.  

In the end I learned that maybe a path less structured is the way to go for us.  Who knows where this might lead?  Wherever it goes we will enjoy the ride.  

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Heather Garcia

Our Unsung Hero

Our group is incredibly lucky.  We have the best co-op coordinator.  Kristie has a talent for pulling this all together and making it a success.   I am always amazed how smoothly things seem to run.  This, I am sure, is a testament to her hard work and many hours of organization.

There before everyone and the last to leave, I think she may get five minutes to sit all day.  She spends months planning and five Fridays executing her masterpiece. Kristie comes with name tags, hair ties and tarps.  She has class lists, maps and supplies.   She hauls the lost and found and countless supplies for other things.  All this on top of making sure her three girls are where they need to be.  

Kristie manages to deal with parent and teacher absences, wrangling clean up crews, and keeping up with where everyone belongs.  She never lets on how much work this is or how tired she is at the end of the day.  We all go about our business and classes and most of us don’t realize the amount of work that goes on behind the scenes.

So remember to stop and take a moment to thank your co-op coordinator.  This is often a thankless position and we all owe her a debt of gratitude for the hard work and countless hours she spends to make our five weeks twice a year a great time for all.

Posted by
Heather Garcia

Support II

 

How to deal with the unsupportive.

So you have decided to homeschool, your family and friends have given you the third degree, and you feel like you are on an island alone.  Here are some tips I have found helpful in dealing with unsupportive family and friends.  

• Don’t get defensive.  I know this is hard but these people do not live your life. Take a deep breath and remember this is a decision that is deeply personal and not everyone will be walking in the homeschool parade.

• Bring out the names of famous homeschooled kids:

• Lewis Carroll (b. 1832), mathematician, logician, and author of Alice in Wonderland. Carroll was homeschooled until he was 12.
• Astra Taylor Canadian-American documentary film-maker, writer, musician. unschooled until age 13.
• Theodore Roosevelt (b. 1858), 26th President of the United States, homeschooled until college.
• Ernst Mach, Austrian physicist, homeschooled until high school by his parents.
• Come up with more on your own!

• Know the facts.

• “A 2011 small-sample study led by Sandra Martin-Chang of Concordia University* and using Canadian participants, found that “structured homeschooling” – where clear education goals are set and structured lessons in the form of either purchased curricula or self-made lesson plans (or a combination of the two) – produced academic performances much better than those achieved by same-level students in public school.  Specifically, in five of seven test areas (word identification, phonic decoding, science, social science, humanities) structured homeschoolers tested at least one grade level ahead of public schoolers.  They were almost a half-a-year ahead in math, and slightly, but not significantly, advanced in reading comprehension.”
• “The Huffington Post Teen page for 3/28/15 cites a U.S. News and World Report article published in 2012 based on statistics provided by the National Home Education Research Institute.  These statistics indicate that more than 2 million U.S. students in grades K-12 were home-schooled in 2010, accounting for nearly four percent of all school-aged children.  The same Huffington Post page notes that, according to a study that compared graduation rates at one doctoral university from 2004-2009, students coming from a home school graduated college at a higher rate than their peers­ — 66.7 percent compared to 57.5 percent — and earned higher grade point averages along the way (Cogan, Michael; “Exploring Academic Outcomes of Homeschooled Students,” University of St. Thomas, 2009).”

• Take a deep breath and smile.

• I have smiled and laughed off so many misguided comments it is not even funny, but remember being defensive and upset only affects you.  The offending party usually just goes on about their business.
• Remember, anything they have to say is reflective of their issue, not yours.

• Remind them this was not a rash decision

• This is not a decision most make lightly and it is hurtful to have it questioned. But taking the time to remind “helpful” friends and family that this path is the one you thought best for your child can close a lot of detractors’ mouths.

• Walk away

• Sometimes the best thing you can do is let go of an unhealthy, unsupportive relationship. This is not easy or fun, and the hurt can last a long time. Remember that relationships are built on trust and respect.  If it is lacking in those things maybe it’s best to put some space between you and the issue.

• Find like-minded people

• We are living in an age where homeschooling is becoming more mainstream. You can find any number of support groups or co-ops to help you.  There are secular and religious groups.  Either or both are great ways to make friends and have a supportive system.

Remember that most of the negative comments are made from a place of honest concern or love and I usually say thanks for your thoughts but I have that covered, or I understand your concern but this is important to me and my family.  

Really it is all worth it at the end of the day, and you get to see your child live to his/her full potential because you made a choice to take a harder road.

Posted by

Heather Garcia